2009: Rampage, Movie (as Evan)

First of all, let me clear up any confusion, despite what you may at first assume, Uwe Boll's Rampage is not an adaptation of the classic '80s video game where King Kong, Godzilla and a giant werewolf run amuck through an 8-bit Illinois destroying helicopters, boats, taxis and basically anything in their path. Damn it though, that Rampage really does have to be made! The next best Rampage premise, however, has been adapted to the screen by the good doctor Boll. Fed up with the trials, tribuations and pretentions of society, our antihero Bill constructs a full-body armor suit and rampages through the streets of his hometown killing everyone in sight, particularly the barista that failed to make him a proper macchiato.

Employing hand-held camera techniques and a very free-form, loosely-scripted Altman-esque dialogue structure, Boll slowly builds up the layers of Bill's disgruntled, jaded world view. He stereotypically lives in his parents' basement, has a dead-end job at an auto/body repair shop and his sole friend is something of a self-absorbed, arrogant prick. His father, played by Matt Frewer (MAX HEADROOM!!!) is always on his case to find some direction in life; he gets no respect from his boss and the service quality of the local fast-food industry is enough to make a man go ballistic!

Don't let the deliberate pace of the first 45 minutes fool you. Bill has been secretly stockpiling automatic weapons, building remote control tactical explosives and fabricating an iron-man-esque kevlar killing suit. All the assholes in his life are going to pay big time, and that barista will have to make a perfect machiato "as if his life depended on it." My personal highlight comes about 100 or so fatalities into the epic bloodbath "rampage." Still in his full-body armor and feeling a bit parched, Bill stops for a refreshing soda and tuna sandwich only to find hundreds of depressed, lifeless, death-ready flesh-targets all hunkered over seemingly acres of bingo tables. Boll stumbled upon the bingo parlor during the middle of shooting and wrote it into the script, using the actual bingo-mad locals in the scene.

The always outspoken Dr. Boll has made a lot of enemies in the film criticism community, tossing out rants, insults and actual fisticuffs to his detractors. I for one am here to say that with Rampage, Uwe deserves a fresh look. It's tons of fun, is founded on a clever, tight script and delivers all the goods the concept promises. I'm enjoying Boll's recent departure from the world of videogame adaptations, but if he does go back, I hope it's for the other Rampage. (Tim League)